Climb aboard this behemoth for a sun-soaked good time, not a long time

Escape to the Bahamas on this short and sweet choose-your-own adventure.

I'm climbing hundreds of stairs to reach the tallest water slide in North America. The repeated sound of excited screams whizzing past me soundtrack a slow but determined ascent.

I barely have time to enjoy the magnificent 360-degree view of a sun-soaked Bahamas before I sit down with my arms and legs crossed atop the 205-metre-long, aptly named Daredevil's Peak. Rocketing back down to earth in just 35 seconds, I quickly regret wearing a hat as I bend around corners at unimaginable speed, G-forces test the structure of my face, and profanities escape involuntarily. Spat out of a human washing machine, looking for my hat, and grinning from ear to ear, I wonder if I've just found my trip highlight.

Understandably, the extreme experience is not everyone's cup of tea. So, it's lucky this particular holiday offers basically everything under the sun. Two days earlier, I had put my longtime fascination with the cruise experience to the test by hopping aboard Royal Caribbean's Utopia of the Seas. And after sailing on the cruising giant's proud new addition along the Florida coastline and out to the Atlantic Ocean for the ship's maiden voyage, I felt vindicated.

The 362-metre-long and 64-metre-wide vessel - deployed exclusively for short, three- or four-night cruises - came into view from some distance as we arrived on a shuttle bus from Orlando to Port Canaveral. As we neared it, a passenger alongside me exclaimed: "That is f---ing massive." Another let out: "Jesus Christ."

Boarding the 18-deck behemoth amid a flurry of smiling dancers, I gladly picked off a cocktail from the first of many floating trays. Drink number two was sipped as I walked through eight "neighbourhoods" inside the sleek and shiny, brand-new ship peppered with splashes of bright colour. By drink three, I realised trying every offering on the cruise in just three nights would be a mad venture. So, I left out possible drawcards like the casino, surfing simulator and outdoor rock climbing walls, instead making time for relaxing whirlpools on the ship's upper decks. And for live music - whether dance-inducing under the Music Hall lights, in choreographed live-show form or during an intimate banter-filled acoustic performance at Schooner Bar.

If you aim to give the long weekend every last bit of holiday energy, and have your expectations defied in the process, Utopia can facilitate. I didn't expect outdoor pool decks to become impromptu dance floors or to see a midnight balloon drop as a bar slowly lifted into the sky. I didn't expect to watch Olympic divers jumping from unthinkably high platforms and into dangerously small pools during the Aqua 80 Too dance performance. I have zero regrets about arriving slightly late and having to sit in the second row "splash zone", where I screamed in awe and with a touch of terror.

But choose your own adventure. If the adventure you seek is one of pure rest and comfort, secluded spots away from the excitement are aplenty. I found, hidden throughout the ship, countless daybeds perfect for an afternoon nap in a gentle sea breeze. And at the Vitality Spa, utter tranquillity awaited.

There are 2834 staterooms, from Studio Single Cabins to deck 18's Ultimate Family and Royal Loft suites, if you require an outdoor spa and entertainment area, a huge lounge room - and a slide, for good measure. My Spacious Balcony Cabin offered a cosy place to recharge and if not for my long to-do list, I might have slumbered longer in my super comfortable queen-sized bed, in a room fitted with a couch, desk, television, lots of storage and a surprisingly spacious bathroom.

The name Perfect Day at Cococay might be a little OTT for Royal Caribbean's private island, home to 700 staff. But call a spade a spade, I suppose.

After testing its 14 water slides, including the Daredevil's Peak, I took a stroll around the island bordered by white sandy beaches and sparkly turquoise water. After a couple of big nights onboard, I steered clear of the swim-up bar at Oasis Lagoon, and adults-only Hideaway Beach. Instead, secluded areas like Harbour Beach, where the only mild distraction was the zipliner in the distance, or Chill Island, which speaks for itself, called to me. I spent several hours but could have stayed for days, escaping the 35-degree heat under umbrellas and to the calming sound of lightly crashing waves.

El Loco Fresh Mexican, where I enjoyed many tacos, sipped on numerous iced teas, sampled hot sauces and stared off into the blue horizon, is an excellent daytime choice. The serve-yourself eatery was simple, fresh and a definite fan-favourite among 40 places to drink and dine on the ship.

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At night, I found myself where many partygoers retired - the open-till-late Sorrento's Pizza. Nothing hits the spot quite like a slice of New York-style pepperoni pizza over conversation with bright-eyed cruise pals who were, only hours earlier, complete strangers.

While nearly half the dining options onboard are complimentary, specialty spots like Omakase and the American-frontier-themed Royal Railway experience appear to be well worth the extra dollars. At Hooked, a specialty seafood restaurant, I went straight for the lobster and our server, Raghu, was thrilled when I asked for a platter that championed the luxurious protein dripping in melted butter. Like every crew member on the ship, he was helpful, lovely and joyful.

SHIP: Utopia of the Seas.

CRUISE LINE: Royal Caribbean.

LAUNCHED IN: 2024, latest in the Oasis class.

SIZE: 2834 staterooms, accommodating 5668 guests.

ITINERARIES: A three-night cruise starts at $854 per person and the four-night voyage, which also stops at the Bahamian capital of Nassau, is from $887. The ship sets off routinely all year round on its two short trips.

EXPLORE MORE: royalcaribbean.com/utopia-of-the-seas

The writer was a guest of Royal Caribbean.