Do you suffer in silence? How to deal with seat-kickers and annoying passengers

You've been on a gruelling long-haul flight for hours, debating whether to turn around and tell that annoying passenger to stop kicking the back of your seat.

You build up the courage, only to choke at the last second.

It often feels hopeless but, when faced with infuriating travel behaviour, you don't have to suffer in silence.

Psychotherapist and relationship counsellor Melissa Ferrari said that, while you can't control another passenger's behaviour, you can influence how the interaction unfolds with some thoughtful manoeuvring.

"The aim is always to resolve the issue, not to win the interaction," Ms Ferrari said.

"Travel has a way of bringing out both the best and the worst in people because we're operating outside our normal routines and comforts.

"A little patience, empathy and calm communication will solve most situations."

Australia's travel pet peeves were revealed by research from comparison site iSelect, which found that passengers who played music or videos without headphones ranked among the most annoying.

People who strip off their socks, and place an exposed foot on your armrest, also ranked high in the travel bugbear data.

Polite travellers often suffer in silence because the fear of making a scene feels worse than putting up with the bad manners.

Ms Ferrari said this hesitation is a natural reaction to the cramped conditions on board.

"Aircraft create a unique psychological environment," she said.

"You're placing hundreds of strangers into a confined space for hours at a time, often with little sleep, heightened stress, delays, cramped seating and very little control over your surroundings.

"Under those conditions, relatively minor annoyances can feel much bigger than they would in everyday life."

With 42 per cent of holidaymakers naming seat-kicking as their top pet peeve, this annoyance is the hardest to ignore on a flight.

Ms Ferrari said the best approach is to assume it's an accident, rather than a deliberate attack.

"Often it's a child who simply isn't aware of what they're doing, so any conversation should be directed politely to the parent rather than the child," Ms Ferrari said.

"Most parents don't want to inconvenience other passengers and will usually respond positively when approached respectfully."

More than one third of respondents (35 per cent) said that listening to music or videos without headphones was their top bugbear, yet they struggle to ask for quiet.

When approaching these passengers, give them the benefit of the doubt, Ms Ferrari said.

"Before assuming they're being inconsiderate, remember they may not appreciate how far the sound is carrying," the psychotherapist said.

"One of the most effective ways to approach these situations is to focus on the impact of the behaviour rather than the person's intent.

"Most people aren't setting out to upset those around them, they simply don't realise the effect they're having."

Rounding out the top three complaints, 34 per cent of flyers are uncomfortable with nearby passengers removing their shoes and invading their personal space.

Dealing with this awkward intrusion requires setting a boundary clearly without offering an apology.

"Whether it's someone resting their feet on your armrest, removing their shoes and socks, or otherwise invading your space, it's completely understandable to feel uncomfortable," Ms Ferrari said.

If the other passenger refuses to cooperate after a friendly request, Ms Ferrari said that travellers should drop the argument immediately.

"Most people will respond to a calm and reasonable request, but not everyone will," she said.

"Some people are simply dismissive or disrespectful, regardless of how politely they're approached.

The relationship counsellor said that if you feel yourself becoming increasingly frustrated, take a moment before reacting.

"Slow your breathing, release the physical tension in your body and ask yourself whether the issue genuinely needs to be addressed or whether it's something you can let pass," Ms Ferrari said.

"Where a conversation is necessary, have it early and calmly before resentment builds.

"If the other person refuses to cooperate or the interaction begins to escalate, don't continue the confrontation. Cabin crew are trained to manage these situations."