Teetotal travel is trending - but I'm raising a glass in protest

Teetotal travel is having a moment. Recent surveys show an increase in bookings and queries about sober sojourns, even at Contiki, which some may remember (or not) used to have a different reputation.

Sobriety has certain merits, if taken in moderation. Sober travellers rarely suffer sake-induced new-Japanese-tattoo remorse or have to apologise for breaking a table during a trebbiano-fuelled tarantella at the trattoria.

I have nothing against the sober. Some of my best friends ... actually no, that's not true. Nevertheless, I raise a glass to their moderation. I toast their temperance.

The sober are part of the community. We may not share their beliefs or lifestyle, but they deserve respect. The abstemious are just as entitled to karaoke as the rest of us. Sober rights are human rights, people!

However, the world has many places that evoke a drink to fulfil the romance. Some pairings simply cannot be separated, such as a Manhattan in New York, a Sazerac in New Orleans, a pina colada in Puerto Rico, a Caipirinha in Brazil, a Pisco Sour in Peru, sangria in Spain or a Pimm's in Pommyland. And I couldn't bear to not have a Bundy rum in Bundaberg.

Travel tippling doesn't have to end with skinny dipping in the Trevi Fountain or climbing Christ the Redeemer to bung an Akubra on his head. You don't have to get scheisse-faced at Oktoberfest, but you can't really experience the joy without a stein or zwei.

You may never have heard of Ngiam Tong Boon, but his gift to humanity is re-created about 300,000 times a year. Ngiam's legacy is the Singapore Sling, which he invented in 1915. His gin-based endowment is only genuine if you are sipping it in the Long Bar in the Raffles Hotel while casually brushing peanut shells onto the floor. A Virgin Sling just doesn't cut it.

Are you seriously going to go to Kentucky, the bourbon state, and not get into the spirit? Call me Old Fashioned, but that's just wrong. Would you omit a gulp of Guinness from an Irish itinerary? The Guinness Storehouse in Dublin is the nation's biggest tourist attraction, drawing more than 1.5 million visitors a year. No matter how politely you say, "No thanks, do you have Diet Coke?," you're still likely to be called a gobshite.

Florentine legend has it that Count Camillo Negroni of Fiesole wanted something stronger than his usual Americano cocktail, possibly after a long day of explaining the correct pronunciation of his hometown. Gazing at the Ponte Vecchio over the rim of a Negroni is an essential element of any excursion to Florence.

Ditto downing a Bellini at Harry's Bar or an Aperol spritz in Piazza San Marco in Venice. These may cost you as much as a used gondola, but the memory will outlive the credit card pain. Giuseppe Cipriani invented the Bellini in 1948. He named it for the famous 15th-century Venetian painter because the drink's pink hue reminded him of a toga in one of Bellini's paintings. Nobel Prize-winner, prolific traveller and high-functioning alcoholic, Ernest Hemingway, apparently liked a couple for breakfast.

Ernie was also an ardent admirer of Havana's mojitos and daiquiris. Can you imagine a trip to Cuba without slurping a couple of these? It's unthinkable. Especially after five or six, when rumination surrenders to rumba.